The twins, whose first names Braverman requested not be used for this story, just celebrated their first birthday in mid-November. Now that their personalities are beginning to develop, he observes the differences.
"She's much more cerebral, she's less physical, she concentrates on things and takes her time to study and really figure them out," says Braverman about his daughter. "He's physically tough, falls and hits himself, and he's rambunctious, and sort of gets up and goes," he said of his son.
While at times he wishes he had become a father 20 years ago, he also sees the advantages of being a new parent at 50. He believes a person must go through many obstacles in their youth in order to learn to "get down to the basics of what's really important in life, and it gets easier to make good decisions."
Another advantage of becoming a parent later on in life, is the financial aspect. "I knew that I wanted to do this for years. I saved, I put money aside... I didn't want the stress of trying to finance a particular loan, and then having kids and having a mortgage on my children," said Braverman.
Thanks to the businesses he developed years ago, he was able to afford the journey to parenthood, and has even taken time off work in order to be with his children.
Every day, he takes the twins out for two major activities, which can be the museum, an art center, or recreation center. "I've come to the realization that it doesn't matter whether we go to a museum, shopping center or supermarket, it's all new stimulation to them, they love it," said Braverman.
In the midst of this new life, and having achieved his dream, Braverman has only one regret. He should have done this sooner, if only to be able to have more children. "If I had done it then, I would have had three or four children, and I think I was always meant to be a parent of several children."
It is hard not to notice how well behaved the kids are, and how Braverman appears to be in his element as a father. "I don't feel at all daunted, I don't feel overly exhausted or overwhelmed, and I think I have easy children because I create easy children by providing a lot of structure ... a lot of predictability for them and stimulation," he said.
Of course he has the regular challenges for every parent, like getting time for enough food and sleep. In addition, being a single dad doesn't leave much time for romance, which is just fine with Braverman. He gets plenty of fulfillment from his family of choice and friends.
"I don't feel a void in terms of having a relationship because I feel I get a lot of what a relationship provides." Through his family and friends, Braverman experiences "intellectual stimulation, I get respect, I get friendship, I get companionship," he said.
While he doesn't completely dismiss the idea of a relationship sometime in the future, at the moment, it is the last thing on his mind. "It's hard for me to imagine loving anyone as much as I love my children," and Braverman knows this could be difficult for a potential partner to accept.
When asked if he worries about his children facing discrimination or harassment for having a gay dad, Braverman doesn't seem too preoccupied. When people see him with the babies around the neighborhood, they usually assume he is a heterosexual father who's wife is at work.
Things can get a little complicated when they meet someone new, who asks about the children's mom. If he is in the mood, Braverman will make an effort to explain the process of fertility treatments and surrogacy, which isn't always easy.
Other times, if Braverman is accompanied by a female friend, people will assume she is the mother. "Sometimes I correct people, sometimes I'm like, yeah, she's the mother ... if someone is really aggressive, I'll just be like, she's dead," said Braverman, as he tried to suppress a laugh.
Though he is not naive about the world, and about society's perceptions on single parenting, homosexuality or assisted reproduction, he is optimistic about his children's futures. While he would like to see them travel and see the world, ultimately, he just wants what every parent wants for their kids: health and happiness.
"I don't care whether they want to be dancers or philosophers or doctors or artists, whatever, as long as they're happy with who they are and are passionate about their life."
I loved this. Terrific.
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